What Would You Like To Be Called?

Some bad ideas for collective nouns, and a very good idea about a summer-time retreat.

Hello friends!

So, Kristian and I have noticed, with escalating joy, that more and more of you seem to be returning to our live OneTrackMinds shows, and bringing new people with you each time. In the build-up to each show, while we’re usually rushing through a rehearsal of our lines (yes we do rehearse) or ferrying your storytellers to the tech run though, it’s always so very lovely when one of you pops up to wish us luck for the show, and share your favourite stories over the last few years. And that’s even more true when we get to actually speak with you in the Wilton’s Bar afterwards.

It turns out not only are you coming back, but you’re getting louder! During one show, I asked the Wiltons crowd “How many of you have been thinking about a song that changed your life?” and was met with a deafening roar. We love it!

All this leads to a question we’ve been asked which is; “What is the collective noun for the loyal fans of OneTrackMinds?”

Now, as you can imagine, Kristian and I have had a bit of fun exploring this. I won’t take you through all of the sugggestions, but we thought you might enjoy witnessing part of our thought process. After which we invite you to weigh in with your own ideas.

Among the opening bids were OneTrackMarvels, OneTrackMinstrels and OneTrackManiacs. Marvels felt a little superheroey (and possibly opens us up to all sorts of copyright issues), Minstrels a little archaic and Maniacs, while catchy, and accurately captures your enthusiasm on show nights, didn’t seem to reflect the reasonably sane and supportive vibe that you, as a welcoming unit, bring to the show.

The second round fared little better as we waded through OneTrackMinions, OneTrackMessiahs and OneTrackMilitants. If anything, these all felt like a bit of a backward step.

We then turned to the tried and tested Sports team route of using animal names as an identifier. I think we can all agree that no one has an interest in being known as The OneTrackMonkeys, The OneTrackMoles, or indeed The OneTrackMarmosets. Though the OneTrackMeerkats raised a little smile, it was only because we’d weirded ourselves out going down a rabbit hole of OneTrackMuskoxen, OneTrackMacaques and OneTrackMudskippers.

OneTrackMuskoxen. Actually, just a Muskoxen.

And so, having gotten nowhere with our attempts, we are opening this up to you, our sensible, imaginative band of friends who make the show what it is. No ideas are bad ideas (Except the ideas listed above).

We will announce the most popular suggestions during our March shows. Speaking of which, Wilton’s is already filling up so do book your tickets! You’ll be treated to stories from an amazing array of fascinating human beings, including, on March 26th, Smack The Pony’s Doon Mackichan, poet and author Amy Key, our old friend Alice Vincent (returning with her third story!) and comedian, actress and author Samantha Baines.

Then, on March 27th, we have another cracking lineup featuring author and former Home Secretary (!!!), Alan Johnson, creative executive Stacey Carr, Wired journalist and author Russell Davies, and our old friend and show-stealer Alice Martin.

Tickets are selling fast. Don’t miss out.

What a way to dive into the Spring! And if you were tempted to start thinking about your summer then look no further than The Writers Sanctuary….

Anyone who’s seen the show, or knows Kristian and I will appreciate how passionate we are about other people’s stories. With that in mind, I’ve been lucky enough to setup a writing retreat in Italy with two veterans of the show, Rhik Samadder and Sophie Heawood, who also happen to be Sunday Times best selling authors. And if you happen to enjoy writing or storytelling as much as we do, then perhaps The Writers Sanctuary is for you.

Do you find that you’re distracted by the challenges of life and keep putting off your writing? Then come to the Writers’ Sanctuary and write your first, second or three hundred and fiftieth chapter. The retreat offers group workshops and one to one support, as well as plenty of personal writing time to explore new ideas or take an existing project to the next level.

From 31st August to 7th September 2024, join us in an Umbrian villa where the gift of welcome is baked into the bricks.

Workshops will cover core areas of storytelling such as writing from life, finding your voice and unlocking creativity. Every participant will also have three dedicated one-to-one tutorials (one with each tutor) over the course of the week to discuss your goals.

If you’re in the mood for a bit of activity to break up all that furious writing, you can enjoy the beautiful pool, Pilates, qi-gong and breathwork classes, all of which will be included as part of the week.

The Writers’ Sanctuary balances socialising with peace and quiet. Enjoy the gorgeous lunches and four course Tuscan dinners at a communal table at no extra cost, share stories over wine and endless Aperol Spritz or authentic Italian coffee. Equally you will also find nooks, snugs and hideaways should you wish to write in silence.

Let the tutors, the staff, the starlit skies and dewy mornings take care of you, while your ideas come to life.

It’s going to be a lot of fun.

Right, that’s it! Kristian will be back next week. Until then, stay well.

AS.